


a sinner

by JennyMNZ



Series: Retraces [5]
Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 20:49:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11193144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyMNZ/pseuds/JennyMNZ
Summary: for the one who deserved no forgiveness, but received it anyway. [drabble]not written for the phpm, but it's here because i love him





	a sinner

your hands are stained with blood. red blood.

but it wasn't your fault, was it? all you wanted was to protect someone. they can't blame you for that, can they? it wasn't intentional, so it wasn't a crime, right?

right?

but the fire burns all around you, it burns red while it devours the walls that surrounds you. the trail of dead bodies surround you, drowned in their red blood.

"it's not my fault." you whisper to yourself.

but why does it feel like it is?

why does your body glows red?

you walk in a graveyard now, a living one among the dead. and it's all a reflection of you, a proof that only brings despair wherever you go.

why does everything glow red?  _child of misfortune_

"you killed us", they tell you

"it wasn't my fault", you try to argue. you don't believe yourself.

it's all red. (it's all the color of your cursed right eye)

it's all an illusion, you know. this isn't happening, at least not now.

this is just a memory, a cold and dead remembrance of the past.

a memory you tried to bury with you in your grave.

"it wasn't my fault" you keep saying. you're just a child again and the memory is alive and it hurts you. it all hurts you, including the warm touch of your brother.

(you might stain him red, as well)

you're ready to die, aren't you? you're sick and tired of the trail of red blood you've left behind you, so you're just waiting for someone to finally pull the trigger.

(you're ready for it. you've been ready all this time)

"i'm ready to die." you try to scream to the shadows that remain motionless around you. they can't touch you, they won't touch you. they won't send you down to your tomb and silent your nightmares, they won't allow you to erase your past (all of it) and give peace to everyone (to himself).

but the truth is that you actually don't want to die.

you just never wanted to live, right?

in this case, it's pretty easy to give your life away, isn't?

"then give it to me!"

red clashes with green and you're suddenly being cornered. by a woman, of all people.

(what is she doing here?)

she's loud, and she's always talking, always crying, always laughing, always annoying. she's always smiling at you like you're the best thing that ever happened to her, so naïve that makes you want to roll your eyes.

but then she looks at you (those pure eyes) and speaks to you (those pretty words) and you try to run away, try to keep her at bay. she must not come any closer, otherwise she'll take you out of balance, she'll make you lose your train your thought and you won't be able to finish your job. you shout, you crawl back, you try to threaten her, but she doesn't stop moving, she doesn't get intimidated, and soon enough she has her arms around you.

her warm arms are around you, and you can't keep running away anymore. because those words now seem to be your only salvation, and you hold tight to them. you allow her warmth to surround and free you, and even though you two are surrounded by the destruction you brought upon yourself she doesn't let you go.

you know she'll never let you go.

then you allow yourself to be absolved from your mistakes, you allow yourself to surrender to her warmth, to cry on her shoulders like a child you once were before everything was taken away from you. you allow yourself to grow soft on her arms and be delivered from the pain of your guilt.

the red still surrounds you, and your past still exists. your cursed eye doesn't change its color and the dead bodies haven't left your memory.

but now you don't have to worry.

you can set your misery and our doubts aside and rest your heart.

let you burden go.

you're forgiven.


End file.
